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Jun. 30th, 2005 @ 10:31 pm * DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Marilyn Manson - Rock Is Dead
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Once while walking through the mall, a guy came up to me and said "Hey, hows it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"

I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

When I was in the 3rd grade, a bully in school started beating me up every day. At first I didn't say anything, but then I told dad. He got a real scared look on his face and asked if the bully had a big dad. I said I didn't know. But he still seemed scared. And just a few days later we moved to a new town. Dad told me that if anyone picked on me, not to fight back. Unless I knew the kid didn't have a dad or the dad was real small. Otherwise just curl up in a ball.

When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep like my Grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.

Too bad Lassie didn't know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said "Lassie, go skate for help," she could do it.

If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.

One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.

If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.

Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group." "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny.

I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment", even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call it a "speech improvement", and I go up to the guy and say, "Hey, Bob, I like your speech improvement." I think this makes him feel better.

I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.

"Of all the imaginary friends I've had, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill."

Instead of mousetraps, what about baby traps? Not to harm the babies, but just to hold them down until they can be removed?

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause man, they're gone.

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different.

Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it little friend.

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town.

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something.

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what

I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy." Good joke, huh.

If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.

If you're at Thanksgiving dinner and you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!"

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

Whenever anyone says "I can't" it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says "I'll try," five thousand bees. ("I can," one bee.)
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Apr. 26th, 2005 @ 07:02 pm For you Jay!!
What Icons are for you? by ladyallie
Username
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Quiz created with MemeGen!
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Apr. 11th, 2005 @ 11:18 pm Well, It's Been Fun...
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: The Deftones - Change
heres a great story for you...

I met this girl Katie through a friend of mine and we started hitting it off pretty damn well...hanging out alot, doing everything together...we didnt want to get involved with eachother but we got attatched quickly, which wasnt a problem...well, this past friday us and a couple of friends took a trip to Seattle and Katie got an attitude when she got lost...so we all asked her if she wanted help, but she insisted that she could do it by herself(which is okay, but when youre lost its easier to just get help)...so i stopped talking with her for a while because i was upset at her butthurt remarks, and was tempted to get in my buddies car that was following us...well, anyway, i ended up telling my friend Sage the story about her not wanting help because he was pissed that we were going in circles, and she heard me and kicked me out of her car...it made it easier on me, because i was tempting to leave anyway, but in a way, it pissed me off...

well i got a call from her the next night and it started out okay i guess...she was planning on taking leave this wednesday, and i asked if i was going to see her before she goes, and she was like "im gonna be too busy"...so i got the hint that she didnt want "this guy" to be around her...i was shocked because i didnt expect a little bit of drama to kill it for a while...i told her that i think shes been putting on a front, or whatever, and that i dont know who she is...i liked who i thought she was, but if its not her, i want to get to know the real side...then i said the typical "i do everything for you" speech and she told me that she didnt want anything from me...no help with anything, no money, no advice, so i was like damn, thats who i am...i like to help people out, i like to make people happy, im very positive...so i told her if she didnt like that about me, and that being who i am, that we shouldnt be friends anymore because im not going to change for nobody but myself...i also asked her why she was hanging out with me so much if she didnt want that, and said "was it just for sex?"(in so many words)...yeah, you can take that as me calling her a whore or slut, but i was honestly asking a simple question...not once did my voice get loud, not once was i negative, but that 1 comment made it turn sour...im blunt, im straight forward, and she said she was that way too, but obviously not because she wouldve understood where i was coming from...I just dont understand how she could come accross like she cares so much for me but then tell me she doesnt...oh well, you live and you learn...i learned that all girls in the Navy are just out there to get dick, and nothing else, which was just a stereotype...

I seriously sound like im a drama queen, but i think this story is rich enough to be put in here...

but on a better note!!...my rent went down, we got our DSL finally, my Napoleon Dynamite Soundboard actually worked on a recent prank call to my sister Erin!!...my other sister Cari is getting her act back together...glad shes not turning down the same road as my washed up mother...
About this Entry
Mar. 28th, 2005 @ 02:18 pm What a Shitty Vacation
Current Mood: pleasedpleased
Current Music: Thrice - The Next Day
My restless vacation has come to an end, so now I must share!!
It all started on St. Patty's!!! I havent had that much fun with the guys ever!!!
I spent the whole vacation over my best friend Josh's place...Thier apartment still looks like they just moved in it, even after 9 months of having the place. They have no furniture, or anything, not even a microwave..just beach chairs!!..haha...kickass!!...My neck is still sore from sleeping on the floor the entire time!!...I met this girl Katie from another ship on base and we hung out everyday since I left for my leave!!...She is a blast to be around!...

Me, Jesse and Katie went to the Atreyu, Unearth, Scars of tomorrow, and NORMA (FUCKING) JEAN show Tuesday at Graceland in Seattle!! That was by far one of my favorite moments in life...Especially when Katie went in the pit with Jesse and I!!...Tough bitch!!...

The days after the show were just lax days chilling drinking beers and shit back at Josh's place until the following saturday(TASTE OF CHAOS!!)...Me, Katie, Josh went to the show early, while Jesse was still at work, so I dropped off a ticket at the Box office for him!!...We hit up the pits, for Saosin, As I lay Dying, and Underoath until I got kicked out for starting the pit!!..haha...This was a no moshing venue(silly right?), so me and a few others said fuck it and started hardcore dancing with these teenie boppers, knocking thier fresh asses on the ground, until me and 2 others got snatched up by security...Well, after flicking them off and spitting on them on my way to the exit, I ran from them....Well, I got caught and they banned me from this place for forever!!...I wasnt going to miss the end of the show(Senses Fail, My Chemical Romance, and The Used) so I took Jesse's ticket that I dropped off at the box office earlier...The lady there knew I was kicked out too, but she was cool with it!!...After I got back inside, I bought a hoodie (yeah, it I was "that guy" who bought a hoodie from one of the bands playing at the show, but I needed something to disguise myself from security) and Killswitch Engage was onstage...So after I told Katie and Josh the story about me getting kicked out, we headed back out there...Thats when Killswitch told the crowd to fuck the security kids and just start moshing(they left us alone after that)...I was like, well that sucked, I got kicked out 20 mins ago for moshing and now its fine to??...whatever...Well after 5 minutes of being back inside, we went to the pit and thats when i got my jaw dislocated and cut open, and my brand new hoodie ripped to pieces...haha...I definitely needed stitches, but I couldnt miss the end of the show(hence the reason I went back inside in the first place)....So I went backstage where the medics were so I could get a band aid to keep from bleeding on everybody and everything, and guess who I saw??...BURT!!...me and josh recognized that fucker and I told him to fuck off, and he turned to josh and flicked him off and said "fuck me"...so funny...and when we walked back to the show, I bumped into Burt 1 more time and we just stared eachother down(like we hated eachother), then the smirks and shit...what a great night...I get kicked out of the venue for good, I get back in and get beat the fuck up in the pit, and then meet Burt from the Used 2wice...

Well, after all that, I got to see the rest of the show with a super sore jaw which was dislocated(popped back in place by an elbow to the chin), blood stains on my shirt pants and hoodie, and a hip that felt like it was taken off an 80 yr old woman...But it was definitely worth it!!..I saw some of my favorite bands, was with the greatest kids ive ever known...Im going to remember my restless, crazy, childish, little, puny vacation off this ship for forever...

Oh, if you are wondering about Jesse, he never did make it to the show, good thing because he had no ticket anyway!!...haha...
About this Entry
Mar. 9th, 2005 @ 12:10 pm Another Retarded Thingy
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Current Music: Filter - Take a Picture

LJ Friends Meme by coolerq

• You must tell 3 people about this game.
carrie is the one that you love.
jamie is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about jay.
george is the one who knows you very well.
logan is your lucky star.
paper wings is the song that matches with carrie.
release the dogs is the song for jamie.
uncalm is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and losing my religion is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz
About this Entry
Mar. 7th, 2005 @ 09:58 pm Look Who's Back!!
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: ZAO!!!
Talk about an amazing adventure!! Im sure you all forgot, but I was sent to sea this past October...
The deployment was going alot better than my last one, until the day after Christmas when we were in Hong Kong, China, the damn Tsunami hit off the coast of Indonesia...Well guess who got sent to help this disaster??....We were the first on-scene, and had so many big ups come and stop by the boat...We even had the fucking United Nations sleep on our ship like it was a fucking hotel!!...Hate those bastards, if it werent for those dickheads, we wouldnt have been out there for 2 months...I mean, doing good deeds is great, but doing good deeds for Muslim assholes who worship Osama, im sorry, I dont want to help them...Also, the Indonesian government didnt want us flying over thier country, using thier airspace, because we are Americans(even though we were using those planes, helicopters to transport them food)...I was able to go help out and be a part of this, but mainly because I wanted to get off the fucking ship and see the devistation...It was amazing...I saw a cargo ship 3 miles off the coast(what was the coast) sitting in a valley like 300 ft above sea level...really crazy shit...

When we finally left the Indonesian Areas wrapping up Operation Unified Assistance, we went to Singapore and headed our way back home hitting Hawaii and San Diego!!...This cruise started really easy and fun, and ended with anger and frustration...

Homecoming was great!!...I didnt do too much the first day back, just the bar thing, but after work the next day(saturday) I went out with my buddy George and hit up Seattle all weekend...It was amazing!!...Never had that much fun out there...Cant wait to get back...

Just hope you all know that I did miss every single one of you!!...Cant wait to see ya!!...

425-931-2607

Later cunts!!
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Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 06:00 pm farewell!!
Current Music: white wedding dress - Boy Sets Fire
farewell kids!!...email me at hamilton.kevin@lincoln.navy.mil....

ill try to remember to think of you when im out partying in san diego, hawaii, singapore, hong kong, tokyo, australia!!!....or not!!!



later cunts!!


kevin!
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Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 05:42 pm So let me tear me with a chainsaw!!!
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: Let It Enfold You(album) - Senses Fail
UPDATE**

damn its been a while...isnt it sad when youre too tired or lazy to write your feelings?...especially when youre on the damn computer anyway...i dunno...but anyways...things WERE going really well for me these last few months...finally got out of those shitty schools, and also took some good quality time bad home with the boys and RENTS...started talking with my father again, which is fucking nuts cause i havent heard from him in years...i really want to go back, i miss them all!!...and kayte!!!!...well this will be my last entry for a few months, im going out on deployment for 4-6 months...yeah i know, this is my first entry in a long time and now im leaving this thing again...oh well!!!...my gma is in the hospital, 2 people died in 1 week (RIP PAUL LAY, ROSCOE DAWG)...ive been down ever since i got back here from my vacation, i tell myself all the time to stop being so fucking negative, but shit just keeps rolling downhill...what to do?...i have no fucking clue!!...paul was an army PFC who was a buddy from highschool in taylor that took a trip to texas and got into a bad wreck...roscoe hung himself...my gma had quad bypass...as much as i hate life, i hate death even more...but on a good note, ive been busy with the buds here everyday since i got back, doing some great shit...we went to this kart racing place...35-45 mph go-karts...fun fun...im still sore and we went sunday(its thursday now)...i so dont have much to bitch about, or write about...its sad too...a month of nothing pretty much!!...im sorry LJ, ill try to be more enthusiastic and imaginative when it comes to my entries!!

later cunts!!
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Aug. 19th, 2004 @ 12:05 pm If I Was Gay, Id So Be Up For That!
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Run DMC - Tricky
Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Name:
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:16
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 09:08 pm ....
Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: Coldplay - Clocks
well, me and my 2 buddies at school took a trip up to victoria island, BC this past weekend...it was so horrible...ive been there 2wice now, and this time it was phucking lame...i mean, primarily because the clubs werent happening...im not the club-type anyway, but i was still disappointed...at least i had my alcohol, and other stuff(wink-wink)...peer pressure is a bitch...i spent so much of my paycheck...im hurting already...i have 2 weeks before i get paid again!...ill just have to stock up on ramen and my countrytime lemonade shit...school went okay...its getting a bit easier, but still hard as fuck...my buddy DJ, one of the guys who went with me to BC, got dropped from the class yesterday...they say because its academically, but thats not true, its because they think hes a shit-bag...im really depressing myself about this school...i mean, 2 guys got dropped in 1 day, and its supposed to get harder...if i fail, ill go back to the boat, and will never hear the end of it...well, i guess i would do better if i studied, but who studies??...honestly, this is my daily routine...take a nap after school, jump straight into drinking(by myself i might add), play on my laptop, thats it...well, lots of television, which im not used to doing at all...
well, the chick i met last week stole my shit, i guess i shouldnt have let her borrow my beanie, belt w/buckle, and hoodie...im stupid, and too nice...i lost her number, but she has mine...hasnt called me back...my sister called me too, this weekend, i missed it though, i was in canada...shes moving to san diego(now that i moved away from there)...im so bummed out, i was planning on being with her alot after i get out, but thats shot down...shes amazing...its about time that she is getting her act together and starting her life, at 23...tip of the day : dont call your very conservative grandparents while youve been drinking, you get too open with them and say some stupid shit...i shouldnt care what my family thinks about me, but its my family, i dont like them thinking im making stupid mistakes and shit...i hide so much from them, it would kill them to find out who i really am...not just talking about my gparents, im talking about everyone...my journal is getting really lame, i just dont have too much to talk about anymore...im not as depressed either, and you all know that you get alot more deep, interesting entries when youre depressed...oh well, JAY, MATT, KILLER MILLER, love ya guys, 360-425-8713...later bitches
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